Tag Archives: commentary

One thing I’ve learned in life is that most people don’t speak out or speak up unless they’re scared of something. Fear is a great motivator.  In fact, if you think about it, none of us really do anything we don’t want to without fear being at the core of that motivation.

Seeing as the last couple times Steve Jobs spoke to the press outside of his usual key-note-based comfort zones it was to 1) assure people he wasn’t dying and 2) to explain to everyone how he was going to deal with antennagate, it follows that him showing up on that “earnings call” thing yesterday was something he did because he is scared—and I think he’s scared shitless.  Sure, I’m scared I’m wrong, which is why I’m posting this, but that’s beside the point.  Steve Jobs is seriously brown-pantsing it.

“We’ve now passed RIM and I don’t see them catching up with us in the foreseeable future.”

Really, Steve? Last time I checked RIM had way more experience in smartphoning than Apple. Last time I checked, RIM had their Blackberry phones firmly established in the business world as the smartphones grown-ups use.  Their core market is probably not going anywhere.  They shouldn’t try to expand and if they just stick to what they do best, they’ll be fine.  They won’t “beat” you, but they shouldn’t care. What’s more is that you won’t be able to make inroads into their specific market, either, because (and I should know) iPhones just take too much effort to do basic stuff.  BB’s just work—unlike iPhones.  iPhones are like the Windows PCs of the smartphone world (with better design, of course).  But seriously, if RIM keeps their flagship product focused on what it does best, they are invincible against Apple.

“…we believe integrated will trump fragmented every time.”

Really? You mean like Apple computers? Or like Windows computers?  Last time I checked there isn’t a single type of computer that runs Windows, Linux or even OSX. There are quite a few. So, if by “every time” you mean “every time you’ve tried it with your iOS devices” then I can see your point.  However, you completely ignore the rest of the world of devices that run on MUCH more open systems than iOS devices (aka unwalled gardens).  There’s also this myth going around that people actually think of Windows boxes first when considering the definition of “open”.  No chance. I think Linux.  That bitch is open.  Sure, I see the theory that Windows is open (ie anyone can program for Windows) but Linux is better known for it.  All that aside, “fragmented” (aka too many different hardware configs to code software for) is a bullshit argument since that’s what OSes are for.  OSes give programmers a universal set of “buttons” to press (commands to use) that do the same thing on every device that runs the given OS.  So, this is an outright and complete LIE.

This is like Al Qeada actually representing a real threat to America.  This is like nukes in Iraq.  This is like illegal immigration and homophobia.  Jobs is trumping this shit up to scare people—plain and simple.  And when I see people buy into shit like this, it’s the Absurd Disconnect I talk about so much over at website666.com.

Everyone seriously needs to spend 30 seconds thinking about what they are saying to make sure it makes sense.

“The more Jobs talks about the iPad, the more apparent that he sees it as his true legacy. And as laptops continue to give way to tablets, he’ll be the guy who first gave them to us.” -Gizmodo’s Brian Barrett in a post last night.

Which is absolutely sad since the guy pretty much made computers (and gadgets in general) cool.  I love my MacBook Pro and my PowerBook before it (my MacBook sucked ass and should never have been born along with the iBook I had before my PowerBook, but I’m seriously digressing).  I’ve loved my iPods and my iPhone for quite a while.  What I hate is when Steve gets his fingers in things—iTunes ruins more and more of my iExperience the more I rely on it.  For years I never “synced” anything with any iDevice I owned (I just click “manually manage”).  Finally, I’ve handed control over to iTunes and I hate it.  I expected to like it in a sort of “it’s nice to be part of the hive mind” way, but nope.  So it pisses me off that this idiot may think his latest “gizmo” is his true legacy and not making a success out of computers that “just work.”

I’m going to skip over the part where Steve hates Flash—we all know he does and we all know he’s stupid for giving in to this hate since (as much as I wish it wasn’t) Flash is everywhere. I am reminded of this every time I’m reading blogs on my iPhone and I can’t play embedded video.  HTML 5, huh Steve?

I’m also skipping his AppleTV propaganda.  Apple TV is useless. Newsflash: if you have a Touch or an iPhone, you can pretty much plug that into your TV and do everything the AppleTV can do.  OK, maybe not HD, but if you really give a shit, you already have a device plugged into your TV that does.  So effyou AppleTV.

“We think the current crop of 7-inch tablets are going to be DOA-Dead on Arrival. Their manufacturers will learn the painful lesson that their tablets are too small…”

Really, Steve?  Is that why you once, famously said that people didn’t want video on their iPods? I may be just one man, but I DON’T want an iPad—why? Because the screen is too big.  If I’m going to drop $500+ on something like this, it’s going to be a something that is more convenient than what I have now.  Carrying a 10 inch tablet in my bag is just a few inches more convenient than carrying my 13-inch MacBook Pro. And it’s just a few inches LESS convenient than carrying my 7-inch netbook around which has a keyboard attached to it (which will always make for easier typing).  And guess what, Steve!  My netbook lets me install whatever software I want on it!  WOW.

Oh and so, when I do upgrade from my iPhone I’ll be switching to a tablet-phone device.  Probably the Dell Streak.  The 7-inch Samsung Galaxy Tab is still to big for me (and their backside cam is too crappy), so the Streak is perfect. Great for watching video and (more importantly) perfect for reading.  I’ve tried reading books and scripts on the iPhone and it’s like reading a book through a pinhole camera to me.  It’s doable, but give me a real book any day—or a Streak, which is big enough for what I need it for but small enough to carry with me everywhere.  And if I get a Bluetooth keyboard, I can type on it like a grown-up writer.

So, there are scores of practical reasons for smaller-screens than the one on the iPad. The Kindle has a 7-inch screen and while some folks prefer the DX’s bigger screen, I prefer the portability of the 7-inch Kindle.  It’s plenty big enough to read (and I miss that size screen since I gave mine to my Mom) and it’s thin/light enough to keep with me always.  It’s still too big to pocket, but the iPad is even more too big.

In conclusion…

I think it’s hilarious that guys like Jobs don’t just take stock in what they have.  They have to keep talking shit about other people, other companies and other ideas.  Even if Apple ceases to exist tomorrow, they will still have done what no other company has.  They lost everything and got it back.  They provided real competition to the monolith that is the Windows PC.  They created a mechanism where with every sneeze, burp and fart out of Cupertino, they can cause ripples in the fabric of the tech world.

Apple is now worth more than any other tech company on the stock market—and that’s not enough for Steve.

That’s sad, man.  To see him so scared like this is sad.

It’s OK, Steve, no one’s going to take your Apple Empire away from ya, buddy.  It may get a little smaller, but you’ll still be stinking rich and largely in control of all you survey.  Well, except *my* iPhone, I’ve turned off your little kill switch.  So far the world hasn’t ended, so I’m pretty sure it’s cool.

sources for this post: posts on Gizmodo and Engadget.