NPR: The Fed’s $600 Billion Statement, Translated Into Plain English (Can’t believe they did this—now everyone will know! OK, now every NPR listener/reader will know. So like five people?)
But seriously, this is awesome—not only is NPR covering that the Fed is literally creating money from nothing, but they’ve done it in such a blatant way no one can misunderstand them.
What’s also nice about the above capped piece (you can click on it to go to the article) is that they took Fed Chairman, Ben Bernanke’s statement about inventing $600 billion from nothing and translated it into plain English, line-by-line, so you can actually understand what the cagey fucker is talking about. Here’s an example:
“Information received since the Federal Open Market Committee met in September confirms that the pace of recovery in output and employment continues to be slow.”
“The economy still sucks.”
“Longer-term inflation expectations have remained stable, but measures of underlying inflation have trended lower in recent quarters.”
“Inflation has gone from low to super low.”
Of course, nowhere do they explain why the rate of inflation going up is good, but hey, at least a fairly mainstream news source is doing us the favor of actually reporting facts that inform us about one of the most important, life-changing things in our life:
…and how it’s actually worth nothing at all, since some white guys in suits can just conjure it from the aether—like Zero Point Money or something. Zero Point Energy is a theoretical type of electricity you’d create from nothing. It’s widely viewed by physicists and engineers as impossible because energy must come from somewhere. Similar physical laws exist for money, as well (the more you have the less they’re worth), but no one seems to mind the consequences, for some reason. This allows the Fed to just tappity-tap on their computers and VOILA—$600 billion. Just like they did back in 2008.
They don’t even need to mix a potion in a boiling cauldron or cast a spell or sign their souls over to the devil. Well, hopefully, they had to do that last part.
So, how does it feel knowing that while you work your ass off to make money, a group of rich guys in posh offices work to take value away from that money?
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