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X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (2009)


by ThePete 2:10 pm 2009-04-30
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Check out trailers!

Would you recommend this? Not really. If you’re a fan, you already know his history from the comics (which is much more interesting in the comics).

Technically any good? Bleh, not really. They changed the story dramatically, which makes it a crappy adaptation, and the way the script is structured, the character arc the lead travels is ultimately useless, so nothing resonates. The acting was meh, Jackman’s always believable, but when the script is crap, who cares?

How did it leave me feeling? That the comic-book-movie curse has returned!! Each X-Men movie has gotten progressively worse and this is the worst one so far. I think they should just stop before they murder the franchise entirely.

Would you sit through it again? No.

It’s not just me. Apparently other folks don’t like this movie either.

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by ThePete 2:10 pm 2009-04-30 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net, Reviews | Tags , , , , | $ | Comments (0) »

CORALINE (2009)


by ThePete 12:00 pm 2009-04-15
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Would you recommend this? If you’re looking for a family-safe spectacle, I’d say yes. However, if you’re looking for a solid story and a movie that will really whisk you a way to another world, prooobably not.

Technically any good? The animation was an interesting mix of CG and stop-motion, but at times I found it distracting that it was one and not the other or vice-versa. There were moments of animation that really did blow me away, but mostly I found myself not caring for the designs. This is just a personal gripe, but I felt like the characters weren’t consistent with each other and regardless of that, were a bit stereotypical.

Acting-wise, Dakota Fanning was great, but I felt Teri Hatcher was a little bland. It was nice to know that John Hodgman got a paycheck, but I didn’t think he was that well cast (or maybe I just think he’s BRILLIANT on Daily Show. Keith David was awesome and was cast against type, which was GREAT.

Sadly, the script was lacking in much emotion and I found myself wondering why I didn’t care about anyone. I was also disappointed to see that there was little motivation for Coraline to be a hero, aside from that it’s her duty.

How did it leave me feeling? The 3-D and spectacle aspects of seeing it in the theater made me feel satisfied, but the film itself really didn’t make me feel anything at all.

Would you sit through it again? No chance. :(

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by ThePete 12:00 pm 2009-04-15 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net, Reviews | $ | Comments (0) »

WATCHMEN (2009)


by ThePete 4:29 am 2009-03-06
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? Definitely. This movie could have been MUCH worse. A movie for grown-ups about super-heroes. Go figure.

Technically any good? There were a few glaring exceptions, but generally the FX were spot-on. The story, for anyone who knows the graphic novel, is solid and thankfully, the film sticks with it for the most part. The script is tight and includes enough of the original dialog to make the purist in me happy (the cinematography did, also, thankfully). The acting was generally spot-on, as well. I think there were a couple of weak spots acting-wise and I couldn’t quite tell what country one character was from because of their shifting accent, but, generally, no one was so bad as to knock me out of the movie.

Two flaws that jump out at me: some of the makeup and the music. I liked the use of pre-existing songs, but the score, while reasonable music on it’s own, didn’t really fit anywhere it was used. The makeup was a little too caricaturish and not accurate enough for a generally realistic looking film.

How did it leave me feeling? Definitely satisfied. I may be biased, however, as I’m quite used to seeing Hollywood screw the pooch on super-hero movies for decades. However, as far as I can tell, this movie was… actually good. I know–it feels weird for me to even say it.

Final Rating? GSN – Go See Now. It’s got a lot of interesting things to say about humanity. It holds together pretty well and is a pretty faithful adaptation if the source material (which happens to be one of my favorite books of all time). BEWARE: this IS a super-hero movie, but it’s NOT FOR KIDS. It’s actually more violent than the comic it is based on and there’s nudity (of both genders, so everyone can enjoy it! YAY!)

PLEASE NOTE: as I write this, I just got home from seeing it. It’s 4:21am as I type this. I just might feel differently about this movie with more distance between it and me. But for now, I really did enjoy it quite a bit!

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by ThePete 4:29 am 2009-03-06 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net, Reviews | Tags , , , | $ | Comments (1) »

W. (2008)


by ThePete 12:53 am 2008-10-18
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? Definitely–Oliver Stone is a good filmmaker. I don’t always agree with the message he puts out through his movies, but his films are always entertaining and well made (in my opinion, anyway).

Technically any good? It seems like the film’s script was based solely on the coverage of these events in the press. As a result, the film feels a little shallow. We did get to see humanity behind most of the characters, but not much humanity. The acting was spot-on. Brolin should get an Oscar. Thandie Newton should not. She was the only actor who seemed to be there for (unintentional) comic relief (to be fair, her Condi Rice impression was hilarious, however). Over all, the movie was surprisingly subtle (though, somehow it still felt a little ham-fisted in spots). The music was minimal (which was nice) but still managed to be overused (in only one spot, though). The casting was great and, of course, the directing was invisible. Only a few times did I see the Hand of Oliver (or the HOO) in the film.

How did it leave me feeling? Satisfied, but I can’t help but think Stone should have waited until W. had left office to make this movie. For now it seems like a movie that could have been written by anyone–it’s a reflection of what we all know of George W. Bush. Usually, to be really useful a film needs to be made with more of a perspective, with more distance from the events it portrays. I’m not sure what we’re supposed to take from this movie aside from entertainment.

Final Rating? SIYL – See If You Like. I doubt Republicans will get a big kick out of this film. It definitely gives the benefit of the doubt from a more lefty side of things–still, it does give Bush the benefit of the doubt, which I think is awfully kind. It’s certainly more than Bush deserves.

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by ThePete 12:53 am 2008-10-18 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net, Reviews | Tags , , , | $ | Comments (0) »

George W. Bush Solves Economic Crisis by Snapping Fingers!


by ThePete 4:00 am 2008-09-25
Categories El Archivos del Arbusto, In TheNews, Now Playing, Politricks, TheBig Business, TheCultureJam, TheMoney, TheWars, thepete.com | Tags , , , , , , | $ | Comments (0) »
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utterli-image
This is a totally useless observation, but I noticed
tonight while looking at the pic of Bush delivering
his historic "we’re screwed" speech to
the nation a little black spot under his jaw. Can
you see it? WTH is that?
Mobile post sent by thepete using Utterli.
 reply-count Replies.

Ugh, so here is a fun one–George W. Bush trying to convince us all that he’s right about something else that has gone to shit under his watch.

Seriously, everything this man touches turns to fine smelling feces. I challenge anyone to name something he’s gotten right. I mean, do we really need me to go through this transcript to know that Bush will distort the facts, deceive us and dodge responsibility? Well, I’m a glutton for punishment (it comes from watching every episode of MST3K several times over), so here we go!

The below transcript of Bush’s historic “We’re Screwed” speech comes from JPGardners’ Donkelphant.com and remember, Bush’s comments will be in italics while mine will be factually accurate and not in italics.

THE PRESIDENT: Good evening.

Oh, Al Gore was there? :P (Get it? It says “THE PRESIDENT”. YES I’m still bitter god damn it!!)

This is an extraordinary period for America’s economy.

THIS GUY IS SHARP, BOY! What’s next? An observation that touching open flames cause pain??

Over the past few weeks, many Americans have felt anxiety about their finances and their future.

“Few weeks”?!?!?!

Try “few years” idiot. I’ve been blogging about the value of the dollar dropping for three years, possibly more.

It’s really hard not to use the word “retard” in connection with this fool, but I don’t want to insult anyone who is actually mentally handicapped.

I understand their worry and their frustration.

Ah, so you’re not frustrated? Why should you be? You’re wearing a beautiful new golden suit spun with gold so fine that you can’t see it, you tremendous feeb.

Sorry, I know it’s not mature to call people names, but this fucker won’t go away! He’s committed crimes, failed to protect Americans from terrorists and killer storms, bungled two wars almost simultaneously and now he’s managed to oversee one of the biggest economic failures America has seen since the Great Depression.

Ah, good stuff! o_O
More…

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by ThePete 4:00 am 2008-09-25 Categories El Archivos del Arbusto, In TheNews, Now Playing, Politricks, TheBig Business, TheCultureJam, TheMoney, TheWars, thepete.com | Tags , , , , , , | $ | Comments (0) »

DARK KNIGHT (2008)


by ThePete 12:35 pm 2008-08-05
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? Definitely entertaining but only a positive experience if entertainment is all you want. This was a mess of a movie with just enough explosions and “drama” to keep audiences unaware that this was a poorly made film.

Technically any good? The acting from all involved was just fine. The FX were solid and believable across the board (if not a little corny). The music was inventive and actually did some very cool things. The script, however, was a heavy-handed, plot-challenged, lightning-paced mess. Batman felt stapled into the movie, so much so that I felt the film should have been called “Two-Face.” Joker is in it (duh) but he feels more like he’s stapled in, as well. The plot (what there is of it) congeals around Harvey Dent’s story arc. Sure, it’s all from Batman’s point of view, but don’t expect to see him do anything more interesting than good stunts and talk too much. The Batman from Batman Begins had to wrestle with his past, confront his demons and go against his mentor. In this he does almost none of that.

How did it leave me feeling? Disappointed. As the audience was clapping I was wondering what movie they’d just seen because the one I saw had gaping plot holes where characters would vanish from the movie randomly and return only when the plot called for them. The film I sat through featured characters openly discussing morals in blatant, obvious, and boring terms. In the second-to-last (of four) climaxes, as Batman explains to Joker what he’s just be shown, I found myself wondering why the movie felt the need to have Batman explain what we’d just seen. Imagine, as Luke is flying away from the destroyed Death Star, he contacts Vader on the radio and explains the morals behind what he did.

Final Rating? NFI – NetFlix It. Honestly, the stunt work will make more sense on the small screen and I don’t think it’s worth the money to sit through the bad script. If I knew then what I know now, I’d have saved my $12.

Check out my absurdly long diatribe against this movie.

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by ThePete 12:35 pm 2008-08-05 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net | Tags , , , | $ | Comments (0) »

IRON MAN (2008)


by ThePete 12:08 am 2008-05-02
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click to buy!

Positive Experience/Entertaining? Dude–this is the kind of movie I had hoped for from last years Transformers. Lots of great effects and a story that didn’t make me feel like I was being treated like a moron. The fact that I enjoyed the hell out of this movie and didn’t feel like I had just been peed on in the process (like John Turturro in Transformers) I greeted like a miracle. Now, don’t get me wrong–this wasn’t some deep, thoughtful treatise on the evils of corporate greed and America throwing it’s weight around the planet in the interest of cash. To the movie’s credit, that was a theme, however.

Technically any good? Dude–to say the CGI was seamless is almost an understatement. Instinctively, I always look for that seam. I found it in one shot. A while after that, I gave up looking and just enjoyed the damn movie. The acting was pretty damn solid (amazing for a modern action/adventure movie) and the script was pretty faithful to the comic (though it did cherry-pick plot elements, but I didn’t mind). The only technical aspect I didn’t care for was how the script treats Iron Man’s personal assistant. She came off way too girl-next-doory for someone who would be in her position. When you’re the only woman in the movie, I’d appreciate a stronger acting choice than “Oh no! He might kill me!”

How did it leave me feeling? VERY entertained. Is the movie perfect? No. There was a rushed quality to the film that I think too many Hollywood movies have these days. Apparently characters never sleep, eat or go to the bathroom–or recognize the passage of time, the weather or take moments to breathe (or allow the audience to breathe). Such things, if done well, don’t have to slow down the movie, either. Also, I could go into the racism/ethnocentrism of this movie (Afghanis are portrayed as either evil thugs or innocent, simple but helpful martyrs) but I really think the movie’s message is more powerful than it’s lack of a depthful middle-eastern characters. The movie is about a guy taking responsibility for what he’s done. These days, anyone who does that in a movie or in real life is a hero in my book. Jon Favreau is my hero for making this movie with this message at this point in American history.

Final Rating? GSN – Go See Now – it’s summer action/adventure fun with a message. Bring the kids and teach them (and remind yourself) how much fun taking responsibility can be! (That will make more sense when you see the movie.)

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by ThePete 12:08 am 2008-05-02 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net | Tags , , , , , , | $ | Comments (0) »

DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY (2007)


by ThePete 4:11 pm 2008-03-04
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? I was definitely glad I saw it, let’s put it that way. Judging “positive” versus “negative” with movies like this is hard since the movie is so very depressing.


Technically any good? On a technical level, this film is AMAZING. The acting, the cinematography, the make up is astonishing. This film also manages to capture the emotional aspects of what happened to this man. The only problem I had with it was that I wanted to know more facts about the situation. Several single-sentence explanations of his condition are given to us over the span of the movie and never truly create a real picture of what was going on with him. I don’t need everything handed to me, but there were a lot of things I just didn’t get because the filmmaker decided that the answers were inferred strongly enough or that the audience didn’t need to know. Still, not knowing what was happening to the poor guy was very distracting.


How did it leave me feeling? Like no one’s life could get much worse than being entirely paralyzed, save for your left eye. It also reaffirmed my belief that assisted suicide should be 100% legal! If this ever happens to me and I decide I’m done trying, for god’s sake, let me go!


Final Rating? SIYL – See If You Like this kind of movie. I think this is an important film because it makes you think about life and suffering and what it’s all worth. On the other hand, I don’t want to recommend it to everyone because it really gets you to feel what Bauby went through–which was really horrible.

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by ThePete 4:11 pm 2008-03-04 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net | Tags , , , | $ | Comments (2) »

THERE WILL BE BLOOD (2007)


by ThePete 12:00 pm 2008-02-22
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? HELL, YES. Wow, up until now I’ve really not liked Paul Thomas Anderson as a director, but this movie was positively Stanley-Kubrickesque.

Technically any good? WAS IT EVER. On every level this movie did impressive things with itself. First off, the story was perfectly solid–granted, it’s a little cliche, but it’s done really well. The script was INCREDIBLE with no dialogue for a goodly chunk of the movie. Then, the acting was equally incredible by all involved–Daniel Day Lewis is the Caucasian Javier Bardem. INSANELY good he was in this. In fact, it was his voice in the commercials that made me want to see this movie in the first place. The direction, while GREAT is evident–as in, this doesn’t feel like other movies. You sense a director’s hand in this simply because it’s so good. It’s kind of like that amazing view of a mountain or an ocean that makes you think you’re looking at God’s handiwork. Not to say that PTA is God–I’m just saying it feels like an artist made it. This can be both good and bad, depending on your point of view. Personally, I’ll take this kind of more obvious direction over any other kind any day.

Oh yeah and the music was great, too–minimal, for sure–but still great.

How did it leave me feeling? Stunned–I was really, really happy with this movie. Don’t let me over-hype it, though. I’m sure some people found this movie jarring, disturbing and depressing–I know I did–but that’s what art makes you do sometimes. This is the first movie I really wanted to see again in the theater.

Final Rating? STM – SEE THIS MOVIE – FIVE STARS!!! Don’t wait for DVD! Go see it now!!

And once you’ve seen it, check out IDrinkYourMilkShake.com to see what other folks are saying about this movie.

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by ThePete 12:00 pm 2008-02-22 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net | Tags , , | $ | Comments (0) »

CLOVERFIELD (2008)


by ThePete 12:00 pm 2008-01-28
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? Gah! No! What a mess–this movie was just marginally more interesting than Signs, which in itself was an invasion story following the most boring people around. At lease Cloverfield took place in New York City.


Technically any good? Hard to say. If you call Godzilla shot by an unfunny idiot who also happens to be the worst videographer in the world a good move, it’s technically great. But I don’t. What’s even more annoying is that the shaky-as-hell camera work doesn’t allow for any of the actors to really do anything beyond making vaguely interesting choices when reacting to other characters dying. There is no character development and the premise of following around rich white kids while a disaster surrounds them is as trite and boring as it is in Pearl Harbor. MANHATTAN IS BEING DESTROYED AND WE’RE FOLLOWING THESE STUPID, WHITE 20-SOMETHINGS!! WHY!?!? AT LEAST give us cut aways to other footage like the news or other morons with cameras.

So, weak story, no chance for decent acting and at this point, who cares about the FX (which weren’t used enough to be all that impressive).


How did it leave me feeling? Convinced JJ Abrams and his brood should not be allowed to make movies or TV shows any more. What happens when you take a Godzilla movie and remove all of the interesting bits? You get Cloverfield. What happens when you take a giant monster movie and only show the monster sparingly? You get a monster movie that isn’t a monster movie. You get Cloverfield.


Final Rating? DNS – Do Not See – If you’re looking for cheesy, bad movie fun, there are more than twenty Godzilla films on DVD that will meet your needs more effectively than this movie does.

For more of my opinion on Cloverfield go here: VN:F [1.2.0_562]

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by ThePete 12:00 pm 2008-01-28 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net | Tags | $ | Comments (0) »

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (2007)


by ThePete 12:00 pm 2007-12-21
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? If you like incredibly well-made movies, YES. While not entirely fulfilling generally speaking, the film makes up for it in the “just damn good, otherwise” department.


Technically any good? While the script does sneak in a few contrivances and conveniences, over all I found the film a joy to watch, mainly because all of the lead characters seemed smarter than me. I’m not some brainiac, but most characters in movies these days are dumb as posts, so, I thank the script for being so smart. The acting was AMAZING. EFFING JAVIER BARDEM!!! MAN!!! But honestly, everyone was spot-on in this movie. From the wife to the lead (Josh Brolin) to the supporting lead (Tommy Lee Jones) to, of course, EFFING JAVIER BARDEM!!! The Coen Brothers have finally made a film that you could call a spiritual sequel to Blood Simple. You’re lucky this is a Pocket Review because there’s not a whole lot more that should be said about this film aside from the answer to the next question.


How did it leave me feeling? TENSE! Not only did I have a massive burp to release after the credits rolled, but for hours afterward, I kept sighing to release the tension the film built up in me. While the film is not perfect, you WILL be on the edge of your seat. OK, one last question and there’s seriously nothing else that needs to be said about this movie in a review:


Final Rating? GSN – GO SEE NOW. You will thank me for it.

EFFING JAVIER BARDEM!!

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by ThePete 12:00 pm 2007-12-21 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net | Tags | $ | Comments (0) »

BEOWULF (2007)


by ThePete 2:30 pm 2007-11-19
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? Definitely entertaining–which is good because I kind of expected it to suck.

Technically any good? As you can tell from the posters and trailers, the CG FX are incredible. However, I felt that they kind of fell short. There was still no real emotion in the faces and there were only moments where I felt that certain shots could have been mistaken for actual photos. I kept flashing back to supermarionation (Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlett and even Abe Lincoln in Disneyland’s Hall of Presidents), to be honest. However, I was still able to enjoy the movie. The script was cool, dialog good (though unfortunate at times) and the story was updated in interesting ways, compared to the original poem, but I think there were some odd choices that made me seriously question the execution of the plot. There were comic relief moments that seemed contrived and stupid and there was an over-all lack of character development that left me with thrills but nothing to leave the theater with.

How did it leave me feeling? Excited, but realizing that the best reason to see Beowulf is for the spectacle. So, see this on the big screen if you’re ever going to see it at all and preferably see it in an IMAX theater in 3-D to make sure you get the full effect of the spectacle.

Final Rating? SIYL – See If You Like – though this is NOT a kids’ cartoon! There is serious violence and (effectively) a lot of nudity for a PG-13 film–between the nudity and violence I have to admit that I’ve seen much tamer R-movies than this PG-13er.

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by ThePete 2:30 pm 2007-11-19 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net | $ | Comments (0) »

EASTERN PROMISES (2007)


by ThePete 12:00 pm 2007-09-24
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? Definitely entertaining, but this is not some kind of action-fest. This is a film very much like a Godfather in that there are a lot of subtleties. This movie does have intensity, it just sort of sneaks up on you.

Technically any good? The acting was good, but understated and the direction was invisible, the way it should be. The film is actually very slow. There’s also not a whole lot of emotion or character development. Somehow, the film ends up being entertaining, nonetheless. The story is solid, interesting and only slightly predictable (and not even predictable in a bad way). It’s got an incredible fight sequence that will make the film infamous and a quiet intensity that just earn this movie a cult following.

How did it leave me feeling? Definitely satisfied, but for very different reasons than I normally expect. The film was slow, but intense. It reminded me of Lonestar in that way.

Final Rating? SIYL – See If You Like – it’s a little disconcerting with some violence and disturbing imagery and it’s rated R so it’s not for the kiddies. The ladies might enjoy Viggo’s completely naked fight scene, however.

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by ThePete 12:00 pm 2007-09-24 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net | $ | Comments (0) »

3:10 to Yuma (2007)


by jen 3:05 pm 2007-09-11
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? Yes, very entertaining. It breaks no new ground, but if you like character-driven action movies, this is a pretty decent one.

Technically any good? Tightly directed throughout, with good action (and a high body count). There was one especially gruesome moment that I thought was a nice touch, although those with delicate stomachs might disagree. Bale and Crowe are both very good, with the latter particularly menacing. Ben Foster, as one of Crowe’s gang, creeped the hell out of me without falling into the excesses you sometimes see in “giggling psychopath”-type roles.

How did it leave me feeling? Satiated! I was in the mood for a Western and I was glad they didn’t screw this one up.

Final Rating? SIYL. Western and action fans will enjoy this one.

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by jen 3:05 pm 2007-09-11 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net | $ | Comments (0) »

STARDUST (2007)


by ThePete 1:15 pm 2007-08-22
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? Definitely. Not a film that blew me away, but definitely an enjoyable experience.

Technically any good? About the only FX I had trouble buying were the elephants in the cage at the beginning. I’ve seen more realistic miniature elephants in a Burt I. Gordon film. However, everything else I pretty much bought. Acting-wise, I think Michelle Pfeiffer can just stop being in things now. Hers was the least interesting performance of the movie. Everyone else was pretty solid–even De Niro’s flying pirate character. The script had quite a few holes in it, but the over all spirit of the film allows me to come pretty close to forgiving every last one of them. However, that doesn’t mean they’re not there. The music could have been a bit less obnoxious. I got that this was supposed to be a score to a sweeping epic, but in three instances the music seemed to be trying desperately and unsuccessfully to make up for a distinct lack of sweepingness.

How did it leave me feeling? While about on the level of the best SciFi Channel movie I’ve ever seen, I’d definitely say I felt good after watching it. This film ended up being much better than I expected it to be. I should clarify–I haven’t seen a movie on SciFi Channel that was better than this film. However, I have seen TV shows that are MUCH better than this movie.

Final Rating? SIYL – See If You Like – It’s definitely a fun, safe bet for enjoyment if you’re looking for something (anything) to see. I bet you won’t be let down.

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by ThePete 1:15 pm 2007-08-22 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net | $ | Comments (0) »

SUNSHINE (2007)


by ThePete 12:00 pm 2007-07-25
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? Definitely. My stomach tightened up at the first major plot point and didn’t relax until the credits.

Technically any good? Technically good was all that it was, sadly. The tension seemed almost mathematically calculated. That’s not to say the calculations don’t work–they do. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. Of course, I also knew what was going to happen almost every step of the way. The story was incredibly straightforward with very few (if any) surprises. The acting was really awesome–I bought everyone including Chris Evans who is a long way away from the Baxter Building and his role as the Human Torch in the Fantastic Four movies. It was also real nice to see Michelle Yeoh in a role where she doesn’t beat the crap out of people.

How did it leave me feeling? Definitely satisfied, but ultimately not thrilled. It’s a brilliantly made movie, but it didn’t bring anything new to scifi. It felt like it could have existed in the same “future” as the classic 2001, only without the humor of the Kubrick film.

Final Rating? SIYL – See If You Like (to be thrilled). Seriously, this movie does entertain, just so long as you like being on the edge of your seat for two hours.

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by ThePete 12:00 pm 2007-07-25 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net | $ | Comments (0) »

TRANSFORMERS (2007)


by ThePete 8:17 pm 2007-07-05
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? Holy crap, no. All those mainstream film critics who were saying this movie was dumb but a lot of fun? Yeah, they’re morons who don’t know anything about basic storytelling. See, that’s the thing, there was no story in this movie. There was a premise, but that’s it. Even putting aside my purist/fan bias toward the original 1980s cartoon, there’s nothing here to enjoy.

Technically any good? Wow, no. Sure, the FX are cool and all, but the crappy cinematography and worse editing ruins the immediate thrill of seeing these robots in action and the total lack of an actual story (realistic or not) ruins the mental thrill of seeing these very real-looking robots exist among real things. I say things because even the people were not real humans. They were just extreme parodies of real humans. Perhaps, they are what humans will be assumed to be in a few thousand years, by our descendants. However, to those of us who are human (and adult), these “characters” are ridiculous jokes. Clearly SOMEone thought it would be amusing to have the lead kid be a total sad-sap loser with parents who are most certainly NOT Stiller and Meara (who were actually funny, unlike the husband and wife “comedy” team in this movie).

Meanwhile, the robots are hardly in the picture until about halfway through, making “SAM (and the alien robots)” a more appropriate title for the film. Ultimately, the real problem with the film is that there was no reason for these alien robots to be “Transformers”. They could be any old robots from space.

How did it leave me feeling? Like I felt after seeing Batman & Robin–like I wanted to go wilding through the director’s house. My God this film was useless. Seriously, I don’t have to complain how they messed up the characters I grew up loving since they didn’t come close to even making a passable movie. Seriously, The Island was a better film.

Final Rating? DNS – Do Not See – Seriously. Go Netlfix . I’m serious!

[B000PC704W]

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by ThePete 8:17 pm 2007-07-05 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net | $ | Comments (0) »

SHOWBUSINESS: THE ROAD TO BROADWAY (2007)


by ThePete 1:28 pm 2007-06-20
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? Definitely. More than most documentaries I’m seeing these days.

Technically any good? While it’s definitely entertaining, I couldn’t help but feel like I was missing some of the picture. We got to hear from some people regarding their creative choices as well as what their career/business choices were, which was great. Usually it is the latter we hear about in docus like this. However, because we only heard about some of the creative choices those involved made I felt like the film was deliberately trying to make certain people look better than others. The docu actually turned me off of seeing Wicked (though I’m being taken to it in a few days, so this film didn’t make me hate Wicked). Over all, I think this movie does a great job of creating a story and characters you care about. In a way, it’s more of a traditional movie that happens to be true and stars “actors” playing themselves. It’s also too short.

How did it leave me feeling? Definitely satisfied. I got to see inside the business of Broadway and felt like I got a pretty authentic look. It also made Broadway look like a lot of work, but a lot of fun, too.

Final Rating? SIYL – See If You Like – If you just don’t care about the New York theater, I can’t promise this film will entertain you–but it probably will.

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by ThePete 1:28 pm 2007-06-20 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net | $ | Comments (0) »

FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER (2007)


by ThePete 1:42 pm 2007-06-18
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? Definitely. Anyone who thinks this movie is boring or stupid or even “only for kids” has watched too many big, dumb, exploding, crappy Hollywood movies. While not overly smart, this film does glamorize being smart and for that I think I deserves praise.

Technically any good? While this film doesn’t try to do much, it does succeed incredibly well at doing what it tries. Seriously–to the people that say this movie (and it’s prequel) is stupid I have got to ask you what you were expecting where the head of the super team is all rubbery. COME ON people, the 1990s Batman movies didn’t take this kind of heat and those films were cheesy and stupid as hell–the FF movies are SUPPOSED TO BE CHEESY. Read the comic for crying out loud. All that aside, the script was solid (but not perfect–I don’t see how tackyon particles (particles that go faster than light and therefore back in time) can separate the Surfer from his board, but again, the lead hero in this movie has the ability to stretch his arms to infinite lengths. It just would have been nice if they had gotten right what little science they actually used. I didn’t have a problem with the FX–the only vague problem I did have was that the Surfer’s lip assignment was a little off. I did really like Doug Jones as the Surfer and could take or leave Fishburne as the voice. Oh yeah and as totally hot as Jessica Alba is, she reeeeeally should take some acting lessons. Email me Jess, I can recommend a place :)

How did it leave me feeling? Definitely satisfied. I really hope they keep making these because I strongly feel that we need more films that make intelligence look cool. I also like that the characters work as a time (most of the time) and that they are genuinely moral and heroic. It may not be the Das Boot of superhero movies, but it is worth seeing in my mind.

Final Rating? GSN – Go See Now – Just don’t expect it to blow your mind.

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by ThePete 1:42 pm 2007-06-18 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net, thepete.com | $ | Comments (0) »

BAMAKO (2007)


by ThePete 12:00 pm 2007-06-05
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Positive Experience/Entertaining? Sadly, no. This is one of those movies that means well, but masks it’s inability to deliver a clear, solid narrative with fascinating subject matter and faux “technique”.

Technically any good? Bleh–no. Not at all. It was slow, heavy-handed and ultimately one-sided. I was shocked at how bored I was. The good thing I can say about it was that it was nice to see so few white people on screen and it was nice to see so many black people who weren’t gangsta-types. Sadly, these blacks were largely poverty-stricken citizens of the African nation of Mali, but still. How often do you get to see an African movie about African people starring actual Africans?

How did it leave me feeling? Asleep. So, buy a ticket or a DVD to support the cause of raising awareness of how the World Bank and the IMF treat developing countries like Mali. It’s seriously messed up.

Final Rating? DNS – Do Not See – Alright, do not watch but support the cause for sure.

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by ThePete 12:00 pm 2007-06-05 Categories Now Playing, PocketReviews.Net, thepete.com | $ | Comments (0) »

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